They Kiss the Past Goodbye

A year goes by and I'm staring at my watch again as I dig deep this time, for something greater than I've ever been, life through ancient wine-skins and I was blind but now I see, this New Year's Eve something must change me, inside. I'm crooked and misguided and tired of being tired. A New Year for new beginnings. That seems to be the mindset. I do not really undertsand why. The day changed, one to the next, night faded to morning like it has since our conception of forever began. Two nights ago happened to fall on what the western world has dubbed the end of the year. It's man made, this schedule by which we run our lives. It becomes a countdown, one deadline to the next, the mindset of just making it this far, this much longer and then a break will come and we live for the furure instead of the moment. So on December 31st of every year we celebrate, having survived another year and we move on to the next, a new beginning.

All these new resolutions that people make, thinking it makes a difference that it is a New Year. This does not change your past for the decisions you make and experiences you have will always be a part of you. They are what has shaped you. You are who you are because of your past, every struggle or blessing you have encountered teaches you something different. This does not mean that people cannot change, it means that even if you do, you cannot simply dismiss your past, that a new year is not a clean break from our old lives, that we must always remember even the things that we do not like about ourselves. These make us stronger, and remind us that we too are only men.

This desire to reinvent oneself and remedy the shortcomings that one sees in oneself should not be constrained to these manufactured new beginnings or bound by human time. Live for every moment, not on a schedule or a countdown. A new year is a good time for resolutions and promises to be a better person, but then so is any time really.

This New Year's Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow. My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe, in You.